It’s hard for a veteran birder like myself to get excited about Mallards. More specifically, it’s easy for a veteran birder like myself to resent seeing a Mallard, instead wishing it were literally any other species of duck. The problem is that they’re everywhere. They’re in the park, of course, swimming around like a gang of bread-addicted zombies. But they’re also usually the most common species of duck when I’m out in more natural places, tricking me into thinking they’re something more exciting. Beginner birders soon learn the twinge of disappointment that follows the spotting of a duck, the lifting of the binoculars, and the uttering of, “oh, Mallards.” I feel bad about the disdain I have for Mallards. It’s not their fault they’ve been so successful! It’s not their fault they love the delicious taste of white bread (even if it isn’t good for them). So, in the spirit of reconciliation and love for my feathered friends of all species, please indulge...