We’ve all seen the image on a Happy Anniversary card or one of those positivity posters hanging in the doctor’s office: two swans facing each other on a calm pond, their respective long necks slightly arched in toward one other, forming an approximation of humanity’s international symbol for love, the heart. How sweet. Swans have been associated with romantic love for at least as far back as the ancient Greeks, who told of Zeus disguising himself as one of these giant birds to seduce the Spartan princess Leda. There are natural links in addition to that problematic mythology: Swans are large and graceful, and some species mate for life. Take all of that together and you’ve got yourself an enduring symbol of devotion. So much so that the boats in the old carnival Tunnel of Love were shaped like swans, and the towels on the bed in your honeymoon suite are contorted to look like them (yes, that is a swan towel blog). Apologies, but I’m here to tell you that this isn't...